Postpartum Survival Kit

Lately whenever a friend or co-worker has a baby, I like to give her a "Postpartum Survival Kit" -- a collection of useful items that are super helpful to mom, but things that many do not remember needing.

I like to include ...

For Mom's Body:

• Overnight Maxi Pads -- the ones from the hospital can be really uncomfortable (and dare I say, cheap?). If it's touching your vulva the day after you push out a baby, splurge on some "fancy" ones. (Also, those first few days when your bleeding is a little unpredictable, put an extra pad across the back of your underwear at night. This will keep the leaking to a minimum.)
• Hemorrhoid pads (Tuck's are a popular brand) with Witch Hazel. I especially like to give these ask gifts, if only to relieve the new mom from having to ask the guy at the drug store where they are.
• Nipple Cream (I like the Lansinoh brand, but any 100% lanolin cream works. Note: Lanolin comes from sheep wool, so if you are vegan or prefer to stay away from processed animal products, there are non-lanolin nipple butters on the market, such as those from Earth Mama Angel Baby).
• ***Note. Nipple cream will not solve the problem of sore or cracked nipples, only make them feel better while you fix the issue, which is usually a bad latch***
• Puppy Pads. Seriously. I doubt you will find a pregnancy book that will include this one, but here it is. Again, in the first few days your vaginal bleeding may be a bit unpredictable, and you would hate to sit down in your new cream-colored nursing glider and leave a blood stain. Puppy pads are absorbent and have a plastic bottom layer, so the fluid won't leak through.
• Other One-Offs
• Breast pads. Some moms need a lot of these, some need none. I like to include a few, simply so mom doesn't have to go buy and whole big box, unless she finds she needs to wear them consistently.
• Microwave Sterilizing Bags. I know, boiling water is SO HARD, but I personally loved these. So I like to include one bag, so mom can use it for those first few items without bothering with the stove. (**Note. You don't have to sterilize pump parts and other baby things after every use, unless your baby is premature or his immune system is compromised).

For Mom's Mind:

• Her favorite magazine. There is a lot of sitting when you are nursing a newborn, so here's a chance to catch up with Martha Stewart (or People Magazine, I don't judge).
• A gift card for iPhone apps or music (this is great for Dads/partners too!) Angry Birds helped R's dad survive those early days (er ... months) of evening grumpies, where all we could do was sit and rock him.
• "What Mothers Do Especially When It Looks Like Nothing" by Naomi Stadlen. A great book about the realities of mothering a newborn, complete with negative feelings about oneself and one's baby. Very real and very moving.

For the Breastfeeding Mom and Baby

• If mom has registered for or already has a nursing pillow, a Nursing Pillow Cover. These get milky and smelly, so it's good to have an extra one handy.
• The name and phone number of a local Lactation Consultant. Most common breastfeeding issues can be fixed easily with a little help. Encourage mom not to wait, but to call someone right away (remind her it's probably covered by insurance!)
• The name and phone number of the local La Leche League leader, as well as their meeting schedule. All moms need support, but breastfeeding moms also need support from other breastfeeding moms. Seeing other moms nursing their babies and being able to ask them questions about their experiences is invaluable. 
• Occasionally I have a friend who wants to breastfeed but has not done any preparation (classes, reading, research). I will sometimes include a breastfeeding cheat sheet -- pictures of positions, latch "rules", common problems and what to do about them -- just so she has a jumping off point, as well as a handy reference for those moments when she doesn't know what to do.

What was the item you found most helpful in the early days of motherhood?

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Like what you've read? Pregnant and looking for a class in Western/Central Massachusetts?
Check out our current class schedule here.

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"Bundle of Joy" and other phrases that should go away

I have a love/hate relationship with media coverage of celebrity pregnancy/birth. On the one hand, I LOVE babies. I mean, I just love love love babies. I love pregnant bellies, I love hearing about pregnancy, I love seeing baby pictures, I love hearing about birth. However, as someone who spent most of her college years picking apart mass media (and as someone who had a rather difficult postpartum period), I absolutely cringe when I read an article about a new celebrity mom. Without fail it will include phrases such as "bundle of joy", "the proud parents", "angel", "Mom and Baby are doing great!", and "already in love with the baby".

This post is coming in the midst of the Kim Kardashian birth media circus -- according to different sources, she gave birth to a baby girl on Saturday, anywhere from 3 to 5 weeks "early"; she possibly suffered from preeclampsia; no one knows the name of this baby; the parents have not yet released any details to the media. Now I respect their decisions to not release photos or any other information -- she's THEIR baby and they'll do what feels right. The problem comes when we've been saturated with Kim K gossip for ... well, YEARS ... and suddenly are cut off. We are in Kimye withdrawal and are scrounging for any piece of information, even if it's assumptions and conjecture.

So here's the point I want to make, which can come up with ANY new mom. When the media says "she's in love with the baby already", that is ALSO assumption and conjecture. We do not know ANYTHING about how mom is feeling about the baby or her birth. And we are unlikely to see a real picture of it at all. The media calls them "proud parents", but we don't know if they're proud; People.com says "Mom and baby are doing great". Why? Because that's what you say. E! News calls the baby a "bundle of joy"; she may be a bundle of fear, anxiety, and complications for all we know.

Yes, there's usually joy when a baby is born, but what if there's not? We are saturated with the coverage of the lives of celebrities, to the point where we see that coverage as "real" and what "should" happen for everyone. When all we see or hear about is happy moms and content babies, many of us develop unrealistic expectations of what new motherhood looks like. Then, when we are at home suffering from Postpartum Depression or taking care of a colicy baby, we may wonder what is wrong us ... instead of wondering what is wrong with US Weekly.

So new moms: put down tabloids and turn off the reality TV for an hour and find a local new moms group. You may still find that woman who sees here baby as a "bundle of joy", but you're probably also going to find that mom who's having trouble and wants to throw her baby out the window.



Next week ... why are we mentioning C-sections in an article about Kate Middleton's nursery plans? Oh, I forgot, because surgery is no big deal. (NOT!)

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Like what you've read? Pregnant and looking for a class in Western/Central Massachusetts?
Check out our current class schedule here.

Questions? I'm never very far away from my email.

Follow Crafted Birth on Facebook for updates and birth-related resources.

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